Outline

I. Intro
A. Thesis: no pets other than fish should be allowed in dorms
B. Background info: policy at Ohio Wesleyan
II. Small size of dorm rooms
A. size of rooms is not conducive with keeping caged animals
B. made for 2 people, not an animal too
C. cite specific measurements
III. Cleanliness and noise levels
A. would cause problems
B. dirty, smelly
C. roommate/neighbor conflicts
IV. Fish are suitable pets
A. perfectly acceptable option for a pet
B. colorful, cheerful, inexpensive, small
C. decorative
D. ideal pets for college students
V. Counterargument: Pets give companionship
A. something to give attention to
B. students spend too much time on school work, jobs, and social life
C. not enough time to devote to pets
VI. Counterargument: Pets help build a community feeling
A. give feeling of closeness
B. noisy, smelly, dirty
C. would actually cause annoyances
D. pets do not contribute to a feeling of close community
VII. Conclusion
A. keeping pets other than fish is a bad idea
B. small animals would be smelly, dirty, and noisy
C. they would cause conflicts
D. fish are good pets for college students

One thing that I could improve upon in my essay is to work on the organization so that the ideas flow well. I am going to combine and change some of the paragraphs in order to make the essay more effective. I also want to work on having a clear thesis statement for each paragraph so that the main idea is clear and easy to understand.

Plan B Pill Outline

I. Introduction
a. show examples people can relate to
b. state thesis: We as Americans are supposed to have unalienable rights, it is not fair for someone to decide whether a woman should be able to take the Plan B Pill
II. Explain Plan B Pill
a. history of Plan B Pill
b. what the pill does
III. Show counter argument
a. why people think it's wrong
b. common misconceptions
IV. Talk about Pharmacists
a. why they think that have a right to no hand it out
b. other ways of avoiding handing it out
V. My argument
a. why it's ok
b. real reasons for use
c. examples of situations

I think that in my topic, i have some really strong arguments supporting my side, I am having no problem talking about why I think it's right for women to use the pill. But i need to show some of the other sides reasons why they think its not ok. So I need to work on the counterargument a little more.

essay outline

I. Introduction
A. students arent allowed to have roomies of different genders
B. It shouldn't matter what the gender of your roommate is
1. new experience
2. more diverse
3. create problems
II. Support
A. numerous benefits
1. sharing
2. different perspectives
III. Counter
A. distractions
B. jealous significant others
IV. Conclusion
A. better off
B. change some peoples feelings on life


I think I can add more detail about how different sex roommates could be diverse. Also I could include more examples or explain them more throughout my essay. Making my essay for connected and such is something else, I could do to help my essay become better.

Outline

I. Intro
A. Theisis: Guitar Hero is not just another video game. It is a social activity, an easy time filler, promotes hand-eye coordination, and releives stress.
B. Background info
1. Description of game
II. Body
A. Social activity
1. Many rooms have it
2. Open door
3. Guitar Hero friends
B. Time filler, not waste of time
1. 10 mins to fill
2. Do something, not waste time on pointless things
C. Homework distraction
1. Much used technique
2. Many teachers reccomend this method
3. Quick and easy distraction
D. Coordination
1. Personal experience
2. Strength
E. Stress releiver
1. Better than other methods
2. Quick and Easy method
F. Stepping stone
1. Money issue: real vs video game
2. Causes interest in real guitar
III. Conclusion

I desperately need to re-organize my paper, putting the critiques after the good points. I also need more detail in describing the game, need to get rid of all of the "you's", and I need another citation.

life without insurance

I think that her personal experience was a good way to open the essay in a more conversational way. This mode of opening gets the reader some beginning info to get their mind on the topic and lure in interest, then leads to the more serious aspects of the issue. She then states some statistics and raises awareness on the subject, getting her point across.

Jeremiah Knox: Essay #2 Outline

I. Introduction
A. Entire nation in uproar.
B. Started by immature and naive school children.
C. Thesis: The whole Jena Six event seems to have been blown out of proportion.
II. Event overview
A. "white tree"
B. convenience store; stolen shotgun
C. Assault
D. events connected?
III. Federal investigation
A. nooses in tree
1. markings of hate crime
2. not made into a federal case
3. lacked "federal criteria"
B. assault investigation
1. over forty witness accounts
2. no mention of noose incident
C. other incidents
1. no signs of retaliation
2. isolated events
V. Community Reaction
A. nation sees racial injustice
B. Al Sharpton
1. civil rights movement of the 21st century
C. people jumping the gun
VI. Court Reaction
A. original sentence somewhat harsh, but D.A. had reason for such severe punishment
B. ages of boys
1. legal age in Louisiana 17
C. Mychal Bell bail
1. previous assault charges
D. people overreacting to charges
VII. Conclusion
A. school yard prank made by naive school children
B. situation turning into something that it isn't
C. Conclusion sentence: Perhaps if everyone could take a few moments to look at the broader picture, then maybe they would realize that all of these so-called civil rights injustices do not actually exist.




While revising my essay, I realized that I still have a little more work to do in order to fix this essay. I realized that I need to develop my counter argument some more and make it more clear. I also realized that my wording affected how strong my argument was. However, I did realize that despite my wording, I am able to develop a relatively strong argument through examples.

Outline

I. Introduction
A. Background information
B. Explanaition of problem
C. Thesis- The BG1 card should be effective at all locations located within the Bowling Green city limits, so that students do
not have to worry about carrying cash on them to pay for products.
II. Personal Example
A. Wrote about how I learned that I could not use the BG1 card through a personal experience.
III. First Interviewee
A. Quotes and paraphrasing what they said.
IV. Second Interviewee
A. Quotes and paraphrasing what they said.
V.Counter Argument
A. The University will have to make contracts with all of the store and restaurants.
B. It will greatly benefit the University's income.
VI. Cunter Argument
A. The on campus places have to close after some time.
B. There will be people willing to work late/early hours.
VII. Conclusion
A. Solutions to the problem